a long time ago a fashion-senseless lady advised a friend of mine that wearing stripes as a “wide” girl would only accentuate her wideness. instead of telling her that fashion is how you carry it, not how it carries you, she relegated my friend to the “dark coffin of low self-esteem,” full of oversized & earth-toned cotton separates from CP Shades. 25 years later, i still blame this lady for the email i receive at the start of every new year from my still stripe-less friend that gives a generic greeting and a profound “word of the year.” barf.

in grad school after the Northridge earthquake a bunch of us dyed our hair blue. (or at least we tried to, my hair is black, so i first bleached it, which made it yellow, and then the blue dye turned me into a martian.) several students who had red-tagged apartments were staying with my roommate and i, and one of the guys let us paint his toenails blue. the next day, after working in the wood shop all day he came home and said “now i know why you girls all paint your nails. you have a shitty day, but when you take your socks off it makes you smile.”

now that’s the best reason to wear anything… so, clearly – this outfit from Commes Des Garcons must accentuate the kidneys?