Category Archives: things i worry about

sleight

the threat of an arctic u-shaped cold front sweeping down into North America has panicked los angeles residents bringing in their pets and potted plants. funny thing is how pets and potted plants seem so enormous once you drag them inside. i am concerned once it hits 32 degrees our little fava bean sprouts will die, and after that the oranges, and then the whole orange tree. then the lawn will be crunchy and hard but not because of the steer manure. the garden hose will probably freeze and explode. a little later on, the neighbor’s bananas will die, before they’ve ripened the slightest bit, and after that maybe it will snow.